Showing posts with label April Fools Day. Show all posts
Showing posts with label April Fools Day. Show all posts

Monday, April 1, 2019

Death Valley is Actually a Tropical Rainforest...except for the Caterpillars

They SAY Death Valley is the hottest place in the world. They SAY it is the driest place in North America. But I found out the truth on my trip there this weekend. Death Valley is a tropical rainforest, and it would look like one were it not for the billions upon billions of caterpillars that eat up all the vegetation before it can turn the "desert" green.
I mean, think about it. Have you ever actually BEEN to Death Valley when it was actually 128 degrees? If you haven't experienced Death Valley in those kinds of temperatures, then how do you know they happen? The powers-that-be work hard to scare you from visiting during the monsoon season by telling stories of dead tourists and melting tires and that sort of thing while convincing us to visit in February or March, when it's "cooler". But, during the "inferno" of summer, the rains fall plentifully, and plants cover the whole landscape, and the salt pan is a beautiful inland sea with date palms gracing the beautiful sandy beaches. The National Park staff looks forward to these beautiful days of tropical bliss when tourists are nowhere to be seen.
But then the caterpillars come...and they eat everything green to the root just in time for the return of the tourists when the desert has "cooled off" (but actually has been stripped bare by the voracious creatures). I know this to be true because I SAW THEM. I saw the beastly creatures that are eating all the plants of Death Valley!
So, don't just accept the words of the "experts". They've been part of a vast conspiracy to have the paradise of Death Valley to themselves during the "hot" summer. Death Valley is a verdant oasis, or it would be if it weren't for those darn caterpillars.

PS: I'm late to all the great April Fools stuff today, but the caterpillars I saw this weekend in Death Valley are quite real and quite voracious. They will eventually metamorphose into a massive flying creature called the Sphinx Moth. And they do consume a lot of greenery! More information on these interesting creatures can be found here: https://www.desertusa.com/insects/sphinx-moths.html

Thursday, March 31, 2016

The Fabled Island of California? Stunning New Research Suggests the Early European Explorers may have been Right

Source: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Island_of_California

Some of the earliest maps of California show it to be an island. The "correction" to this misconception didn't occur until 1746 when the Gulf of California and its terminus at the delta of the Colorado River were accurately mapped. For something like two hundred years, the legend persisted that California was a giant island, populated by beautiful women, and possessing vast treasures.
Geologists, geographers, and cartographers have long wondered about this conundrum. How could so many explorers have made such a huge error? Some stunning new research reveals that the explorers may have been right all along. In a paper published in the journal Enquiries (the national edition), geologists have come up with a startling model that suggests that as recently as 250 years ago, California was an island.

Seismologists have long known that most earthquakes are the result of elastic rebound, a theory that suggests that earthquakes occur because of a build-up of stress along faults. Frictional resistance prevents the fault from moving while stresses accumulate, but at some point the stresses overcome the resistance and the fault moves, generating large earthquakes. The idea was proposed by Professor Harry Fielding Reid after the Great San Francisco Earthquake of 1906, and evidence derived from subsequent earthquakes has confirmed the model.

Professor Avril Primum was the lead researcher. She says that the work of her team along the San Andreas fault in Southern California has provided a crucial addition to the model of elastic rebound. Sometime around 1250 AD, a huge earthquake caused massive slip along the fault and a vast region separated from the edge of the continent. But unlike models that would have left California as a permanent island, Primum's team argues that the elastic nature of the upper crust actually caused the island to rebound back to the edge of the continent, maybe during an epic earthquake reported in the early 1700s.

Avril contends that we don't have to worry so much about California falling into the sea. Sure, it might do it, and Duane Johnson, Pierce Brosnan, and Tommy Lee Jones will have to run around saving stranded people, but ultimately the elastic forces will pull it right back just like a bungee cord. We just need to be patient.

Thursday, April 1, 2010

Happy April 1st!

Toads Predict Earthquakes!

Democratic President opens up vast areas for offshore drilling!

Senator criticizes federal government for taking over federal program!

Radio talk show host says of tanning salon tax: "...I feel the pain of racism"!

Decade of 2000-2009 hottest on record!

Sooo.....which of these is your April Fools headline???? (answer in comments)